Sponge bath it is.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think your dad took our porno
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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