weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
