My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
