you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
