Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
