Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
