sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
