Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize