just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize