So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize