And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize