the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
