Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Church boner. Awkwardddd
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
