yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
