who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
