I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
