On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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