Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
oh god the rape fog is back!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
