she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
