dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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