ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I believe in your delicious
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
