people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
