Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry DrunkChemGuy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?

Fav 29 5483 1996
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.

Fav 63 7386 1210
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.

Fav 35 4459 1994
share tweet
(989): View more from Michigan

It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.

Fav 28 6360 1714
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.

Fav 21 1430 5199
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Blood and glitter go together right?

Fav 9 1686 1064
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.

Fav 16 904 2265
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.

Fav 2 1189 532
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?

Fav 3 24 66
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT