Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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