Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
