Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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