the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
