I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Girls should come with a carfax report
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
