She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
