Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Randomize
