And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
