I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
