there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
