How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
