I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize