Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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