I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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