I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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