at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
