I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
