I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
