About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize