i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
