THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize