Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
