Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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