I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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