Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
