well you can't waste a boner
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Oh god it's open bar.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
