There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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