I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
