Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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