he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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