And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize