I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
