I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
