Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
