just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
