i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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