wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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