If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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