that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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