My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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