So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
