alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
