if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
