so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
They are going to name an STD after you.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
